How to Express Sympathy?: Every human being needs a shoulder to rely on when they are going through a tough time. The recent pandemic has affected people not only physically but also emotionally. People lost someone their love forever and have experienced mental trauma. During this time, everyone looked for kind words that made them feel they understood their pain and situation. These kind words are nothing but showing Sympathy to someone in pain or need. But most of us do not know How To Express Sympathy? The way of Expression of Sympathy varies based on the situation and the intensity of the pain the person is experiencing.
Why Does Someone Need Sympathy?
Sometimes people require Sympathy so that they do not feel left out and alone. They need someone who will hear their side of the story and express Sympathy giving them peace.
Whereas some need Sympathy as they crave attention and try to put their responsibility on others. These types of people play the victim and try to give reasons for their failure in carrying out their duties. This situation shows the level of insecurity these people have.
How to Express Sympathy?
The way one expresses Sympathy will vary based on situations. One method that is employed for one position may not suit another situation. Let us see a scenario where Sympathy is expressed to someone who has lost a close person below
What Should We Say While We Express Sympathy for Someone’s Loss?
Always remember that you have to show that you care for that person and also about the person whom they have lost. Some phrases which you can use to make them feel better are:
- They are always in your thoughts: You can make them feel better by saying that they will always remain alive in their thoughts, so they should get better at dealing with this loss.
- I know it is so hard for you: This will make them feel that you understand what they are going through and they are not alone- they can reach out to you anytime. You can also say something like the person was a wonderful human being, which will let the person know that you care for the person who has lost their life.
- After this, when you feel better, I would love to know everything about that person: You can use this when you do not see the person who has lost their life. But you are close to the person who is grieving.
- I love you: These words will never let the person feel lonely and let them know that you are available for them and not alone.
- What should we not say while we express Sympathy for someone’s loss? Saying the right thing is as vital as not saying the wrong something. Well, this is because the emotional quotient of the grieving person is high, and they may not take it in the right way. You should always speak, having compassion and love in your words.
Remember these three rules on what not to say:
- Do not deny that the person who has died is dead.
- Do not deny the emotional pain because of the loss.
- Do not deny the fact the death may change lives.
Along with these, you should avoid using:
- They are in a better place: Never use this sentence until you know that the griever or the person who has died believes in after-life. If they do not believe in after-life, they may find this offensive and think that they are in pain.
- Do not worry; you will start feeling better soon: Though you want the bereaved person to look at the future, it is essential to healing better; they should be given enough space and time to come over it. Never pressure them to get over the loss fast.
- How are you holding up/doing?: Though this is a routine and straightforward question, the bereaved answering must put a false face.
- I do not know what I will do if my close one dies: Though this statement is true, it will not comfort the bereaved. This will make him more isolated in their grief. Rather than this, try to acknowledge the profoundness of the loss, and you are available as a source of support and comfort.
- Start moving on with life: If the deceased person has been going through pain or prolonged illness, their death may be a relief. But still, the bereaved need space and time to grieve. Support the grieving person while he takes the space and time they need to heal and grieve.
- I know how and what you feel: Though this seems empathetic, it may give the opposite feeling. Grief and loss are experienced differently by everyone; you should always encourage the grieving person to have their experience of loss. If you want to be empathetic, say something like I am here for you, if you need to talk about your feelings.
- The death was slow- you had a chance to say goodbye/ The end was quick- there was no pain: Death is brutal whatever form it comes in. By saying these, you want to make the grieving person look upside; they may need time to deal with and address their grief.
- Three primary ways to express Sympathy:
Verbally:
- Try to be direct: Convey to the person that you are sorry about their situation and care about them. Many of you feel awkward as you do not know how to express Sympathy to comfort your loved ones. Letting them know that you will be the first step, and then you can ask them if they need help with anything. You can say I am so sorry and then offer some assistance. Try to avoid saying let me know if you need help and suggest how you can be of help. These will include something like Let me bring you dinner tonight, or I will watch the kids while you meet with the funeral planner.
- Try to acknowledge their pain: Do not compare their pain to any other pain. Though you may have experienced a similar type of situation, their experience of pain may vary. Let the person feel their pain and work through it. Using statements like I know your feeling will seem offensive. Instead of saying I see, you are hurt; I am always here if you want to talk about it.
- Always stay on the topic: Do not ramble when you are expressing Sympathy. When the loved ones are going through a tough time, it gets hard to follow when you start jumping between different topics, and they may lose interest in what you are saying. Rather than that, give assurance to them that you are here for them and they can take space and time what they want. Give proof that you understood them, and they can feel free to open up to you about anything.
Non-Verbally:
- Try to make physical contact with the grieving person: When you make the physical contact, it will reassure the grieving person that you are available and care for them. Try to give a hug or place your hand on their shoulder if you are comfortable with them. If you are not comfortable to that extent, you can shake their hand, which will cease unwanted physical contact with them. Put your hand on their shoulder, or hug them. If the grieving person seems to be uncomfortable with making contact with you, never force it.
- Be Aware and Give importance to Facial Expressions: When you say something, your facial expressions are important. For example, if you keep a smile on your face and say I am sorry for your loss. It will give out a wrong meaning. A neutral expression is the best in these situations, meaning – neutral mouth, relaxed eyebrows, and having eye contact.
- You can send the grieving person a gift:
- The gift you send need not be expensive; even flowers or a gift card will matter a lot.
- You can send them meals: If you have someone living close by, you can send them meals which will keep them off from work for some days. It will help them to come to terms with the grieving situation. You can also sign up with websites that will organize meal delivery. They will even let you schedule delivery for specific dates and people, making it easy for you.
You have to continue expressing Sympathy:
- Avoid judging a grieving person: Sometimes, you may consider the person thinking that they are taking more time to come out of that situation. It would help if you remembered that people are different and take time. Continue being available and expressing condolences. But if the relationship is getting unhealthy or toxic, you can cut ties with them at any time.
- Try to be a good listener: To let them know that you are listening, give occasional nods and keep your electronic devices silent to avoid interruptions. Every time try to make them aware that you are always available and ready to listen to them.
- You should check with them for weeks: As healing takes time, it may take weeks for someone to come out of grieving, like job loss or losing a loved one. So meeting them for once will not help; check with them for some weeks until you are sure that they got better.
Conclusion on How to Express Sympathy
Everyone experiences discomfort and grief in their lives. It may be because of broken marriage, job loss, loss of life, and any other life-altering events. To get off or deal with these situations, they may depend on you. You have to be available for them and express Sympathy to them to make them feel better.
